Worrying a Bone

Posted February 17th, 2007 by JennyWren


This is me, jabbing here, prodding there, circling the idea until there's a worn path around it. Testing for my own reactions when the idea responds. Who knows if I'll go through with it; I've been here before.

Often when I have something I want to try, I'll let it sit and simmer like this…the sewing machine in the corner of the kitchen, the violin in its case in the livingroom. Occasionally, I'll practice threading the machine, browse through some patterns I've picked up. Once in a while, I'll put rosin on the bow and play around for an hour or so. But mostly, they're there, in view, until my comfort with the tools' presence outweighs my perfectionism and fear of failure. I have tons of hobbies lying around, in various stages of development. I cycle through them; when the mood hits, I pick one up again, and learn a little more. Things may get dusty, but I never completely abandon them.

Writing's not like that. It's not a hobby. It doesn't have a lot of paraphernalia I can leave lying around, giving me a sense of control. I can't pick it up and drop it on a whim. It either is, and I am it, or it isn't. Very overwhelming. :( Where did I get these grandiose ideas???