Saturday, August 4, 2007

A month later...

Go figure.

Anyway, it's August, obviously. August 1 was our "official" first day of school, so there's been a flurry of activity. One birthday down, two to go by Sept 7. And our wedding anniversary is tomorrow. So...August should be busy.

I still don't have the time to post, but I intend to get to it this week. We'll see...

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A Thing for Strings

Okay, I'll jump right in. One of my current obsessions is string instruments. I've recently acquired two mountain dulcimers, after hovering over the keyboard, waiting with bated breath for the ebay auctions to end. I've also ordered books with plans for building various folk instruments, and this morning, made another ebay purchase: a beginner-sized hammered dulcimer (don't tell my husband, yet; I'm trying to figure out how to break it to him - it was such a DEAL!). All I'm missing is a bowed psaltery I can afford, and I think I'll about have this itch scratched. May have to build that one myself, though. (Ha! We'll see how that goes.)

I'd only had my hands on a mountain dulcimer once before, at my sister-in-law's house, years ago. Thought it was interesting, but I was on another tangent at the time, probably. Now it is an all-consuming interest. My husband laughed at how quickly it became an obsession, but then he knows me, and goes along for the ride. My friends and family laughed, too, but that's okay. I watched for a bargain, found two, and now we have more music in the house. Well, something approaching music. It'll take practice.

I want to have a music room, with various instruments available for the kids to pick up. I want us to learn to sing in harmony, sit on the front porch on summer evenings and entertain the raccoons and the tree frogs with traditional rounds, that kind of thing. I want, I want, I want. I've got plenty of ideas, not so much in the "doing" department.


I'm trying to learn to play "The Parting Glass", and although I realize I sound horrible in comparison, this duo on Youtube has inspired me, and my mother picked up a book at her library that has the tablature, it seems to be a similar arrangement.

(There's also a vocal version on Youtube that gives me goosebumps (that usually means harmony!), done by the Wailin' Jennys.)

-Took a break to set off a few fireworks for the kids.-

I would try to neaten this up and post a picture, but hubby is wanting the computer for a while, so I'll figure that out later!

Well, here goes...

I've thought about keeping a blog before, but never quite followed through with it. Does anyone else get hung up when they're required to choose a name? That's not the only thing that's stopped me, of course. Mainly, I didn't know where I'd fit! We homeschool, but I often want to ramble about random things. I'm interested in homesteading, but I don't get much accomplished beyond dreaming. I want to write, but again, I have a hard time sticking to one focus! In the end, it's "just me", and whatever is on my mind at the moment.

I imagine it will take me a bit to settle in, figure out which buttons to push and knobs to turn. Ideally, this will be a place for me to jot down what's going on in my life, a sort of journal. Somewhere to vent, organize my thoughts, and look back through what's been happening. Hope I can stick with it.

So, we'll see. Here goes!

Friday, February 23, 2007

Things that Go Pacing in the Night

Posted September 7th, 2008 by JennyWren

February 23, 2007

I did my (hopefully) last rounds for the night, and took a peek out the door before turning off the porch light. Habit, I guess, checking to see if there were any strangers skulking around in the radius of that weak little bulb’s range, or forgotten pets waiting to be let in. There was nothing Unusual, but as I dropped the curtain and turned away, a thought hit me. A feeling, actually, a fleeting impulse to go outside, that immediately dismissed itself; I almost didn’t notice it.

Why shouldn’t I step out - onto my very own porch, with my very own space and night around it? When had I stopped going outside for “no reason?” Had I resigned myself to always being needed in the house, on call? Allowed that feeling to spread and swallow up all the free parts of me? Maybe I’d gotten old, jaded. No - and I’d been inspired that week by people who would take the experience; who wouldn’t stand here wondering.

On that whim, I quietly slipped out into a night that engulfed me. A momentary rush of fear I didn’t expect (am I afraid of the dark?), at the vastness of it, held me with my back against the door for a moment, my hand on the knob. But then I regained some sense of self, and stepped out onto the porch that was my island. Actually, it suddenly felt more like a rocking ship, and me on deck with nothing to hold on to. I stubbornly braced my feet and found my balance, then looked out into black, unfamiliar waters.

It was cold - I hadn’t expected that, either. There was a thin layer of frost on the van in the driveway. I was surprised to see my breath in the air in front of me; I held it for a moment, to listen.

The night is deafening in its silence, sometimes. You brain scrambles frantically to find some familiar noise, one sound for an anchor. The dark’s heaviness pulses with the distant lights of town. For a fearful moment, you think you’ve lost your hearing. Then the sounds finally come. Barking; a dog down the road; was it there all along?

I heard a hoof scrape the ground nearby; one of the horses shifting its weight, a sigh. It was too cold, yet, for the insects, the spring peepers, the bullfrogs that we’d start hearing within the month.

I’m trailing, because it’s after the fact; I’m back inside and can ramble.

But in the moment…

The moment was exhilarating! Why do we spend the majority of our time indoors? We are supposed to have a natural connection, be on comfortable terms with that air, that space. With stars there every night, reminding us to be humble.

But I’m back inside this turtle shell of a house, where the fresh air can’t cure my cough, and the hills can’t give me strength. I’ve pulled myself away from the real things in my life, dwelling in the virtual, indulging in a spending spree of Time.

——————————-

And now, for something not so different:

Tonight I see the hours going by like those sinister monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. I know if I stay up much later, I’ll see worse.

My own personal demons come to me late at night, in the forms of Clarity and Perception of Time. I wouldn’t introduce them to my worst enemy. If I fail to escape them through sleep, or if they catch me waking at 3 am, they dance around me and play pictures on the walls: All the Things I Haven’t Done, All the Things I Should Have Done. The State of Things as They Really Are. But that’s only the beginning.

They then show me images of my children growing and changing, loved ones aging; show me moments I can’t get back or take back. The films speed up: pain of others, sorrow. Then on to hidden horrors and fears - if I can outlast the acceleration, lie there holding still as possible, it all pulls toward the black hole of sleep. But more often than not, after tossing and turning a bit, I jump up to pace, needing to shake it off. I roam the house, and end up here at the kitchen table, wishing I drank or smoked, had any little habit to take my mind away.

Aha! A visit to literalminded might be the cure tonight!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Worrying a Bone

Posted February 17th, 2007 by JennyWren


This is me, jabbing here, prodding there, circling the idea until there's a worn path around it. Testing for my own reactions when the idea responds. Who knows if I'll go through with it; I've been here before.

Often when I have something I want to try, I'll let it sit and simmer like this…the sewing machine in the corner of the kitchen, the violin in its case in the livingroom. Occasionally, I'll practice threading the machine, browse through some patterns I've picked up. Once in a while, I'll put rosin on the bow and play around for an hour or so. But mostly, they're there, in view, until my comfort with the tools' presence outweighs my perfectionism and fear of failure. I have tons of hobbies lying around, in various stages of development. I cycle through them; when the mood hits, I pick one up again, and learn a little more. Things may get dusty, but I never completely abandon them.

Writing's not like that. It's not a hobby. It doesn't have a lot of paraphernalia I can leave lying around, giving me a sense of control. I can't pick it up and drop it on a whim. It either is, and I am it, or it isn't. Very overwhelming. :( Where did I get these grandiose ideas???

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Basketball Practice Tonight

Posted February 16th, 2007 by JennyWren

Today, I might have done it; might have let the words fall out of me as they wanted, written that little rat-a-tat-tat thing that's been waiting. But then the Frenchness of a little -ette word perched there at the end of a line raised its eyebrows at me expectantly, startling me, and I looked around and realized that it just wouldn't do; there was dinner to be cooked, there were errands to be run. So not today, little -ette, in answer to your questioning tone. Shouldn't think it would have been sensible, anyway.

Something Else

Posted February 15th, 2007 by JennyWren


I feel I'm sinking in a mire,

But I'm not really sinking. I float

At the top, arms outstretched,

Slowly turning.

I must be waiting,

Bobbing in the brownness they called a new dress.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Don't Analyze This

Posted January 31st, 2007 by JennyWren



Ode to Procrastination

(or: How the Author Avoids Housework)



An ant, intent upon his work,

went marching past my hand.

I wondered at these folk, who have

done so much more than man.



They've seen it all, they've passed it down

The generations through.

Their lives must have some meaning,

Could their patterns be a clue?



Tap, tap - no, left!

Tap, tap - it's here

And so the work goes by;

No wonder at what went before,

No pause to question, "Why?"



It seems they know a simpler truth

That is not mine to grasp,

And oft I've wondered whether I

Would know it, in the last.



How about we start a Really Bad Poetry night? *grin*

Monday, January 29, 2007

Dentists

Posted January 29th, 2007 by JennyWren


I have a toothache. I guess. Is that the technical term for it nowadays? Seems I'm missing an entire vocabulary, every time I deal with anyone in a medical profession. Words that should be simple are replaced with something that takes three times as long to say. Like telling a woman in labor that her pain is "discomfort." I love words, but I'm sorry, when I'm in pain, I don't have time for extra syllables.

So here I sit, holding the side of my head and rocking back and forth. I've taken ibuprofen, and I've used something meant for canker sores, that has numbed the entire left side of my face, but my jaw still hurts. There's not much left to do, but call…the DENTIST. (*sudden, discordant organ music plays*)

That is, if there is such a thing left. I've been to a dentist twice in the last twenty years (I figured it up, while I was pacing). The first time, I was given "laughing gas", but a bit more than they intended. While the dentist and his assistant were talking about a baseball game, I was going two-dimensional. They apologized profusely, filled the tooth, and sent me home shaking.

More recently, I went in for the same kind of pain I'm having now, only after several days. Boy, have things changed. Technology-wise, it's great. They take x-rays, and can show them to you immediately on a laptop computer. But what has happened to the good, old-fashioned office visit? A cleaning, maybe a tooth filled or pulled, that nagging reminder to floss?

This dentist came in and sat down behind me, where I couldn't see her. She proceeded to tell me about the "Plan" we were going to set up. Ladies and gentlemen, when you hear the word "Plan" in a dentist's office, you know nothing good is going to come of it. It usually means something like: We will make you an appointment with an "oral surgeon" to have the first tooth "extracted", then you will come back and we will go from there, with a series of visits.

Am I the only one who sees a sale going on here? Yes, I know you are supposed to go to the dentist regularly. But a "plan"? It sounds more like a subscription.

My husband has had the same experience, repeatedly (he keeps forgetting who his dentist is, and calling a new one, LOL) The newer dentists apparently are more like "project managers". They assign other professionals (oral surgeons, orthodontists, cosmetic dentists) to various parts of your mouth, and make the referrals for you. They apparently don't even pull teeth anymore (Oh, sorry, I meant "extract")! You could walk into the office with an emergency appointment, because your cousin Bubba accidentally knocked three of your teeth out while you were playing pool, and the dentist would calmly set up a plan for biweekly visits over the next 18 months.

On the other hand, he has found a few who still "do their own work". My husband can walk in, get a tooth pulled (not have them "start" a root canal that will take three visits to finish), and come home to do the gauze/no straws thing for a day.

I think I'm hoping for that kind of luck. I've been sitting here with the phone book, waiting for human hours (thank you for helping me pass the time!), because I'm going to call a dentist in town, and ask for *shudder* an appointment.

Here's the interesting thing: the dentist I'm going to call first was an obvious choice for me, because, well, his name is William Faulkner! Go figure. :) I sure hope he has an opening. Somehow I don't think I'll mind if he says "extract" when he means "pull", or "abcess" when he means "infection". Hey, it's Faulkner!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

My Library

Posted January 27th, 2007 by JennyWren


Inspired by Petroglyph's adding a (web link) to LibraryThing, but much less organized than that program, I thought I'd have a little more listing fun by sharing some of the titles on my shelves.

Now, don't worry, Icon, I'm not about to catalog every book in my house! ;) I don't think it would be possible. Does anyone else have the "book problem"? Even after selling or giving away truckloads of them, I still don't have room to unpack all of the boxes upstairs.

Aside from thousands of kids' books, cookbooks, homeschooling books, classics, fiction, and that set of Great Books of the Western World that I finally mooched off of my mother, I do have one shelf full of "my books", in the livingroom. This holds the books that I want within reach at all times, that I refer to or pull off when I need something to read. Sometimes it also includes current fiction or a new book that I'm in the middle of, but mostly it's turned into a reference shelf, of sorts. I've noticed the same tendency in my husband; he's a fiction fan, but the books that he keeps near his desk are always related to his current interests and work: programming, writing, anime drawing.

Anyway, I apparently have more "current interests" than him, because my books take up quite a bit more room! ;)

So while you're visiting, here's a glimpse at what's there now (they used to be organized, but shelf height, random reading, and general household chaos fixed that pretty quickly):

First shelf:

* The Complete Tightwad Gazette, by Amy Dacyczyn
* Profits from Your Backyard Herb Garden, by Lee Sturdivant
* Herbally Yours, by Penny C. Royal
* Encyclopedia for the Home, by Maud C. Cooke, the Educational Company (1902)
* ABC and XYZ of Bee Culture, by A. I. Root (1975 edition)
* Tom Brown's Field Guide to Wilderness Survival, by Tom Brown
* Backyard Composting, by HarmoniousPress
* A Light in the Attic, by Shel Silverstein
* Bible
* Handbook of the Trees of the Northern States and Canada, East of the Rocky Mountains, by Romeyn Beck Hough, B.A.
* Helping Orphaned or Injured Wild Birds, by Diane Scarazzini
* Care of the Wild Feathered & Furred: a Guide to Wildlife Handling and Care, by Mae Hickman and Maxine Guy
* McMahon's American Gardener, by Bernard McMahon (reprint)
* Midwifery and Herbs, by Willa Shaffer
* The Glory of the Garden, edited by Bronzert and Sherwin
* The Writer's Market Companion - Hey, that's not mine!
* Herbs for Sale, by Lee Sturdivant
* Chickens in Your Backyard: A Beginner's Guide, by Rick and Gail Luttmann
* Time and Again, by Jack Finney
* The Backyard Orchardist, by Stella Otto
* The Backyard Berry Book, by Stella Otto
* Natural First Aid, by Brigitte Mars
* Peterson First Guides: Wildflowers
* Beekeeping: The Gentle Craft, by John F. Adams
* Trees of North America, a Golden Guide to Field Identification
* Robert Frost: The Road Not Taken and other Poems, Dover reprint of Mountain Interval
* Sink Reflections, by "Flylady", Marla Cilley
* Back to Basics: How to Learn and Enjoy Traditional American Skills, Reader's Digest

Second shelf:

* Basket full of catalogs: gardening, beekeeping, chickens, homeschooling, junk
* The Indoor How-to Book of Oats, Peas, Beans, and other Pretty Plants, Hazel Perper
* Christy, Catherine Marshall
* Park's Success with Seeds, Ann Reilly
* Edible Wild Plants, Oliver Perry Medsger
* The Complete Herbal Handbook for Farm and Stable, Juliette de Baraclai Levy
* The Complete Book of Annuals, Rockwell & Grayson
* Hmm, there are a couple of poetry books missing here…101 Famous Poems, for one.

Shelf three:

* Ooh, some pictures of my kids were tucked in here!
* The "Have-More" Plan, Ed and Carolyn Robinson
* The Encyclopedia of Country Living
, Carla Emery - a wonderful book
* An issue of Hobby Farms magazine, on dairy goats
* Square Foot Gardening, Mel Bartholomew
* Catfish Ponds and Lily Pads: Creating and Enjoying a Family Pond, Louise Riotte
* Fences, Gates, and Bridges and How to Build Them, George A. Martin
* How to Grow More Vegetables,etc., John Jeavons - newest addition to the shelf!
* Four-Season Harvest, Eliot Coleman (also new)
* Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening, Rodale Press
* Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition…, Sally Fallon
* Insert more gardening books here, this is getting old…
* Natural Horse*Man*Ship, Pat Parelli
* Gnomes, Poortvliet and Huggen
* Seed to Bloom, Susan Powell
* Seed to Seed, Suzanne Ashworth
* Life Skills for Kids, Christine Field
* Not for Packrats Only, Don Aslett
* Some more gardening and herb books
* Clutter's Last Stand, Don Aslett

Last shelf (whew, not much here):

* A bunch of home improvement, weatherizing, construction, do-it-yourself, etc. books.
* the next few are Reader's Digest Books:
* Strange Stories, Amazing Facts
* Mysteries of the Unexplained
* The World's Last Mysteries
* Mysteries of the Ancient Americas
* American Folklore and Legend
* America's Fascinating Indian Heritage
* The Step-by-Step Needlecraft Encyclopedia
, Judy Brittain

And there you have it! The other books I refer to regularly are related to homeschooling, painting or crochet, I keep them in different spots. And the nature guides have ended up in the kids' rooms.

What's on your shelf?

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Snow and Hot Chocolate

Posted January 24th, 2007 by JennyWren


The kids have been in and out all day, giggling and shivering, their cheeks red and their eyes bright. We finally had enough snow for a snowball fight! So there is a trail of wet gloves, scarves and coats leading from the door to the kitchen, where the hot chocolate is. ;)

The horses seem to enjoy the kids being outside, I guess they agree that it's perfect playing weather. Of course, right now, they're more interested in the hay we finally put out for them.

Why is it that in the middle of the night, ideas seem so clear, stories make sense, scenes are vivid…and yet when you wake up and try to capture them on paper, they all fall apart? It's like trying to write down your dreams - while it seemed logical at the time, a newsstation reporter painting a serial killer brown to stop the murders doesn't translate so well in a story.

Anyway, I don't usually come up with "complete" story ideas, but last night I thought I'd hit upon one (no, not the serial killer, lol). Now I realize it would probably do better as a country song. :) Maybe I'll try that route, instead.

——————————————————

"Blogging" is a new thing for me. I've read a few, and even have a couple that I check regularly, but I've never attempted keeping one before. I'm wondering how boring I'll be allowed to get… LOL

I found an interesting article from 2000(in a blog, of course!) about the origins of blogging:

Weblogs: A History and Perspective

I don't think I'll be keeping the informational type of blog, I'm not up on the latest anything. But I'd like to keep a meandering thoughts kind of blog, if it doesn't drive everyone too batty. ;)

I'm thinking that regular writing of any sort is good exercise, so look at it that way. A bit like a journal, and therefore rambling and random, since it's mine!

Friday, January 12, 2007

A New Year, A New List

Posted January 12th, 2007 by JennyWren


Today is when my New Year really begins. Every year, on January 12, I'm a little bit older, although I doubt I'm any wiser.

Usually I spend the day getting lots done around the house, determined to make this day "the first day of the rest of my life," etc. This year, it's a little different; I'm feeling run down from a week of sitting up with a sick kid. But my brain still wants to accomplish something. And what better to satisfy that need, than a good old-fashioned list?

While I'm at it, I think I'll make a few, just to give myself a bit of a marker, something to gauge "progress" by. If I don't like how that makes me feel, there's always the delete button! ;) And today I can make my lists with ease, thanks to our new text editor!

Here goes nothin'…



Big things I need to/would like to accomplish this year

1.

Um…okay, that's a little too much pressure. LOL

How about this, then:

Projects

1. Winter sowing
2. House cleaning
3. Homemaking - really need to focus on this
4. Homeschooling - I'm having the usual middle-of-the-year curriculum doubts; must decide.
5. Working (and writing) on this site
6. Cooking and eating better, more natural food
7. Growing more of our own food
8. Actually getting things planted out this year
9. Starting new flowerbeds
10. Starting seriously composting
11. Painting
12. Organizing all of these hobbies
13. SEE HOW THIS IS TURNING INTO A TO-DO LIST?
14. Help hubby finish horse shed
15. Work out a way to set up hoophouses, coldframes, or a high tunnel

Crafts I'm in the middle of:

1. Huge tiger latch hook rug for 10yo
2. Two different cross stitch tigers for 10yo
3. Cross stitch of a piece of cake
4. Cross stitch of golden retriever for sis? May be too hard.
5. Crochet - rose, green and white afghan
6. Crochet - Black, grey and white cat afghan for 10yo
7. Baskets full of yarn need to be decided on
8. Paint fox by door in livingroom.
9. Repaint kids' room walls
10. Paint Bambi or some such with projector, in kids' room
11. Make some aprons with sewing machine - I have the materials, just need to do it
12. Make curtains

Wow, this is cool.

How about seeds I've wintersown so far this year:

1. American Bittersweet (Celastrus scandens)
2. Ivy from Mom's house
3. Poppy - Lauren's Grape
4. Hazelnut
5. Hazelnut
6. Almond
7. Lavender (Lavendula stoechas)

There, I feel better already. :)

Okay, rolling up sleeves for some real listing…watch out: ;)

In a lovely world with limitless time, I would:

1. Choose the perfect curriculum and teaching style for each of our kids, and follow through with the daily schedule, or say forget "standards", let's just live; you'll learn!
2. Grow or raise all or most of our own food.
3. Get more bees
4. Train the horses, using natural horsemanship methods
5. Paint
6. Write
7. Dance
8. Sit out in the woods for an entire day, just breathing, and watching.
9. Banish telephones
10. Make lots of garden beds
11. Go fishing!
12. Invite friends to come and sit a spell (and keep my house clean enough to do that spontaneously)
13. Spend most of my time outside (the opposite is true now), I have a theory about what's natural and healthy
14. Never sleep, unless it's for the relaxation or cuddle time
15. Love on my kids more, and read them more books

Now, see, that's not an impossible list (except for the sleep part, but I'm betting it would be more relaxing). I just have to forget about all of the other lists, the "to do" lists, and the wants, needs, shoulds, etc. Hmm. Worth pondering!